How could I have forgotten….

Another Memorial Day weekend was approaching and my thoughts turned to blue skies, family picnics, watermelon and burgers, American flags gracing porches and gardens, and a joyful launch of summertime. Again, as in the past, I relished the idea of watching the Memorial Day Concert live from Washington, DC, with its array of performers and story tellers reaching out to the nation at sunset.

But I had forgotten…..this holiday is about war. The concert included tales of bravery, along with images of explosions, downed military planes, smoke, and death. I was in tears as professional actors told the vivid stories of human sacrifice. We all viewed film footage of military families parting, little children broken hearted as their brave parents went off to war. How could I have forgotten?

More questions flooded my thoughts. What is the point? Has war ever accomplished anything good for mankind? Is it not possible for courageous men and women to put their talent into peacemaking instead of war strategies? Who wins a war anyway? There is certainly lots of loss.

And then the tough reality….so many lives have been offered over the years to defend our nation on foreign soil and now we find ourselves in the midst of a great domestic divide that is punctuated by gun violence, racial conflict, and elected leaders who vote purely in their self-interest.

I’d rather think about the first sweet watermelon of the summer and the happy family gathering at my table. But the paradox is compelling on this traditional holiday. And the image of the sun setting over our beautiful capital city during the annual concert is downright frightening.

Knowing that awareness is the first step in recovery, may we acknowledge the challenges of today and work together with fellow-Americans of diverse viewpoints for the common good. We owe it to those many fine, brave men and women who gave their lives for our values—those whom we honor today!

Common Threads

Young or old, male or female, immigrant or Native American, educated or not, those of various religions and preferences, we are all human and share a great deal in common.  Sadly, it has been difficult recently to find the common factors.  The divide shows up among once jovial neighbors, friends who share a monthly bridge game, family members at the dinner table, co-workers in the staff office.  The parting of ways manifests itself dramatically on social media where unbridled frustration and fear appear at every click.  Uneasiness is apparent in polite conversation, as people try to be kind and avoid tricky topics.

My blog is about the journey—particularly about taking on new risks and adventures in the final quarter of the game. So why am I writing about the above?  Because it’s inescapable — and it’s part of the game.  What’s going on in our country affects the lives of our children and grandchildren and we need to pay attention.  I don’t pretend to have a solution to the divide we’re experiencing, but do suggest eight first steps:

1. Listen to many voices, i.e. access varied sources of information

Intentionally read papers and watch news broadcasts that are known to be of the opposite political leaning from your own.

2. Avoid hasty conclusions about people

Adopt a “no conclusion, no judgment” posture.  Period.

3. Go out of your way to meet new people, especially those who have a different appearance, nationality, religion, or lifestyle

If you are Christian, visit a mosque. If you are Muslim, attend a Christian service.

4. Smile more

This actually feels good and is perhaps the easiest way to say “Welcome to my world.”

5. Take the time to hear people’s stories

Preconceived ideas about people (aka prejudices), especially about certain groups of people, usually vanish when we actually get to know a person.

6. Give second chances

We are human!

7. Choose gentle language

How differently we might view the  national health care discussion, for example,  if the plan were called a ”pilot program,”  which any new initiative is, to be reviewed and improved, rather than a “failure,” to be repealed.  Words are powerful and can be neutral or inflammatory.

8. Be empathetic: imagine walking in the other’s shoes, figure out what makes that person tick

This may require all of the above. Experience a softening of the heart, let go of rigid beliefs, and become a more compassionate person.

Perhaps the above steps will help make a difference. It’s worth a try!

~ Post Script ~

For social media posters who share cute pictures and uplifting quotes, thanks for brightening my day.

For friends who approach me directly with honest respectful dialog about difficult issues, kudos to you for giving this a chance.

For leaders who take a stand for what is right in the face of repercussions, I congratulate your bravery.

For those who pray, please pray fervently that we will overcome the divide and again find the common threads we share as Americans.